
The Four Commitments: The Choices That Create Your Life
Setup
A successful life usually depends on making four major commitments: to a spouse or family, a faith or philosophy, a community, and a vocation. But how do we choose what we will commit to, and how do we execute those commitments? In later years, is it possible to launch a new booster stage with new or additional commitments? (Yes.) This will be another exploration of a life well lived.
Speakers
- 2016 Festival
The case for commitment in an era of evasiveness
The 21st century zeitgeist, according to New York Times columnist David Brooks, is not one that rewards commitments. Reasons for evasiveness may be manifold, but Brooks thinks the end result is the same: individuals and societies that are fragmented and listless. Without long-lasting commitments that weave through the fabric of your life, there’s nothing tying it all together. Whether shying away from big life decisions or ghosting a date, we are not inclined to commit to ourselves or others.
A definition for the times
2. How to make the leap of blind faith that commitments demand of you
Many of the big commitments we make in life, no matter how much planning or soul-searching goes into them, are still acts of blind faith. In the absence of cold logic to guide our decisions, David Brooks advocates for love and morality to be the foundation of our commitments:
-
David Brooks: The first thing love does is humbles us, it reminds us we're not even in control of ourselves. You can't control your own thinking when you're in love, when you look across the crowd you think you see your beloved sitting there. The second thing love does is it plows open hard ground. It opens up the crust of our lives that we've used to cover of ourselves, exposing soft flesh below. And it makes us more liable to suffer deep pain, but also deep joy. The third thing love does is it decenters the self. You realize your riches are not in yourself, they are in another person. And the final thing it does is it leads to a sort of fusion unity between two people.
A strong inner morality allows us to set aside what may seem like the logical choice and put a higher calling at the center of our decision-making. Morality decouples ourselves from our decisions, in a way, and can be a constant throughout decades of change.
What disciplines our commitments?
If love and morality compel our commitments, what maintains them over years and decades? What strengthens our commitments when love and morality butt heads with everything outside the mind? David Brooks has some suggestions:
Explore More
Society

Finding ways to ground ourselves on a planet too often in turmoil can foster the resilience we need to function at our best. By maintaining close personal ties, learning new s...

Philosophers throughout history have debated what it means to live a good life, and it remains an ongoing and unresolved question. Deep personal relationships, fulfilling work...

You may have heard of Dry January and mocktails, but what is being "sober curious" really about? Sans Bar's Chris Marshall explains the growing movement and shares how he's b...


The United States is a more secular society than many, and the percentage of people who don’t identify with organized religion is rising. Some of the impacts from that shift m...


About two decades ago, NPR host Mary Louise Kelly had her first child and went down the extremely common yet commonly daunting life path of balancing a demanding career with a...

Everyone has a story to tell – and sharing them reminds us of our common humanity. Few know this better than StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark. Over the last 20 years, the organizat...

It's been a big year for Patagonia, as it celebrated a 50th anniversary and legally restructured to commit all profits to environmental causes. What can be learned from the co...


Artificial intelligence is clearly going to change our lives in multiple ways. But it’s not yet obvious exactly how, and what the impacts will be. We can predict that certain...

Advocates, healthcare providers, legislators, researchers, and venture capitalists are bringing the unique health needs of women to light – from vigorous policy debates on iss...


Actor Rainn Wilson had his dream job on the hit TV show “The Office,” but was still being kept up at night by anxiety, depression, and life’s big unanswerable questions. He we...

Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist, author, and a senior advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University. We caught up with her about h...

How do we describe the Republican Party today, and what are the dynamics that will shape its future?

In their new book, co-authors and Stanford professors Rob Reich and Mehran Sahami argue that big tech’s obsession with optimization and efficiency has sacrificed fundamental h...

Acclaimed authors and experts Annie Murphy Paul, Sheena Iyengar, and Keith Sawyer explore the multifaceted nature of decision-making, choice, and creativity. Through their uni...

How can we unlock the power of entrepreneurship to widen access to health care, close gender disparity, and increase prosperity in the global South? Hear from expert voices an...

From Washington to Biden, presidents have changed America — and the world — for both better and worse. If the American presidency is the ultimate test of leadership, what does...

Even at a time of intense partisan polarization, it is still possible to get things done in Washington. Hear from Representative Jason Crow (D-CO) and Representative Tony Gonz...

Over the past decade, levels of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide have increased dramatically, but the causes are more nuanced than the headlines suggest. This sessi...

Philosophical and religious teachings regarding wealth can feel both archaic and strangely relevant to our age of economic upheaval. How can we reconcile these ideas about wea...

Changes are coming to the world’s biggest ridesharing service, like sustainability features, a more efficient food delivery system, efforts to improve the driver experience, a...